Episode 176 – Be Empowered By Overcoming Fear
Are you the person who always runaway from what you want or the things you are afraid of? The fear of success and failure is not in the character of a successful business owner because they know that the road to success isn’t smooth-sailing, it’s filled with bumps along the way. In this episode, Adam Stott talks about how to be empowered by confronting and overcoming your fear as well as, how can you make fear a key to success.
Show Highlights:
- How can you effectively confront and overcome fear
- Adam Stott overcoming his fear of flying
- Feeling the fear to become empowered
- Why people do not achieve the success that they deserve when they care about what other people might say
- Control your success with the small decisions everyday
- Why successful people do not want to pull other people down but help
Links Mentioned:
Big Business Events Members Network
Transcript:
Please note this is a verbatim transcription from the original audio and therefore may include some minor grammatical errors.
Adam:
Okay so moving into fear which is the next phase that we want to get to and start to create is whatever it is that you’re afraid of, whatever is that you don’t like, whatever it is that is something that you don’t enjoy doing, whatever it is that gets you worried, whatever it is that gets you anxious, you can even choose to accept avoid it, or you can choose to confront it, and overcome it. And you know, for me, I was never ever and I said this also there’s a lot of free events that I have said over on live video. But I say hello to the free events who used to explain that I didn’t like flying, and for a long time I didn’t like flying which is ironic so going on over the world, spoken all over the world.
Spoken in South Africa, spoken in America multiple times, spoke in Europe and lots of other places but one of the things that I always hated was mine. I’ve never enjoyed flying and, you know, for me, I’ve never been an anxious person. I’ve always been somebody that doesn’t struggle with that, and a lot of people do, but whenever I get on an airplane that will be the thing that would set me off. Oh my god, I’m gonna die and you start telling yourself. This story that is absolutely not correct and you work yourself up into frenzy.
It’s only when you face with what you fear and you do it again and again and again and again and again and again and again until it becomes comfortable for you. You start to walk that path to success and overcome that fear. So if you’ve got a fear in there is stopping you from taking actions. If you’ve got a fear of something you don’t want to do and you’ve got a fear of something that’s stopping you from getting your success, the thing you’re doing is you’re just literally gonna do it straightaway. And then you’ve got the multiple times in order for you to not feel that fear anymore in order for that to become within your comfort zone you’ve heard people speak in the past about comfort zones, you know, and the reality is this is what you this is your comfort zone.
The thing you fear is up here outside of your comfort zone. And it’s only when we go and do this thing over here that our comfort zone expands from here to be in this big. What that means is all the sudden we can move a lot more within our circle we’re able to do a lot more. And what that means is by coming outside of that comfort zone there’s you can go and create more success, you know, because now there’s all these other things that you feel comfortable doing, there’s all these other actions that you feel comfortable taking, and all of a sudden you got there and you make more things happen in your life.
I’m a big believer if you fear it, and there’s a, you know, an old book that many of you I’m sure have read and you can put in the comments if you have maybe you’ve read the book, feel the fear and do it anyway. And I don’t think it’s the best book in the world to be honest but I think the principle of the book, certainly a great title great marketing by Brandon 02:37. You know, let me know if you’ve read it. I think the principle of that is massive because if you can feel the fear, and whether it’s the fear of failure, whether it’s the fear of success, whether it’s the fear of the next step, whether it’s the fear of the next move. Whether it’s the fear of, you know, furthering your path moving forward in the right way, whatever it is, if you can feel that fear, you can acknowledge that fear, and you can step forward and make things happen anyway.
You are going to create a power within yourself where you’re totally empowered, and that’s gonna just that’s going to start to seep into areas of your life where you just feel unstoppable, you feel like you have a confidence will go out there and make things happen and attract the things that you want in your life because you have that confidence.
And I think that’s something that everybody should feel inside everybody should want to feel, but the reality is most people don’t feel that way and the reason they don’t feel that way is because when that fear comes up, they run. They run away from what is difficult they run away from what is tough. They run away from the things they want because they become afraid, and I feel that a successful person doesn’t run away from the things they want, doesn’t run away from the things that are afraid of, they actually run into it, they see that it’s going to be tough, they see that it’s going to be difficult, they see that they’re afraid they see that is taking them outside their comfort zone, so you know I don’t care I’m going to do it anyway.
Those really is that feeling the fear and do it anyway and that’s going to be what helps you to make that next step on your journey and create better results for sure. So when we faced what we fear, we will start and or fear as much and we understand that principle we can move forward in a better way. You need to understand that everybody sometimes does have fears, but the people that are successful, the people who create massive results, or the person that you want to be and the results you want to create.
The only thing a lot of the time stand your way of creating that is yourself, you know, and if we can get out of our way sometimes and we can step forward even when we’re afraid, that’s one more start to get more results and every single fear that you do confirm is another step towards your success. If you imagine this is the top of the 04:45 and this is where you want to go.
This is the success that you want to try. We know that we’ve got to create and we’ve got to chart a path towards that success. We’ve got to, you know, climb that ladder, we’ve got to climb that mountain towards success, and it’s not always going to be smooth sailing, there is going to be things on that ladder, on that journey, on that path that you’re afraid of. There’s going to be things that you don’t want to confront. Things that you don’t want to do. There’s going to be things that take you outside of your comfort zone, but once you move past them that’s when you get to where you want to go. That’s when you get gold, when you get the success. That’s when you get the change, and when things start to change for you. And your life starts to change, and you create much better results in your life. So let’s talk about dealing with fear and why it’s important to deal with fear. Wealth and success are given to those people who do what others want or do others done.
People that you’re looking at around you that perhaps maybe achieve what you want to achieve, or that path that you want to walk abroad for and got the results that you want to get, you know, there’s a reason for the fact that they’ve got those results, there’s a reason for the fact that they’re there. And I think that in today’s culture and today as well. A lot of people want to point at somebody and say how can we so easy for them or they were lucky or this happens to them or that happens to them. The reality is that person whoever they are, and wherever it is that they’ve gone crazy success in whether it’s an athlete, whether it’s somebody business, whether it’s somebody just look at the successful with their personal life wherever it is, they’ve had their challenges but they’ve chosen not to let those challenges or those fears impact them in a negative way.
Instead, they’ve looked at it as a positive and said, how can this thing, this challenge your business whatever it be, how can this thing become ultimately a really good thing for me. How can it be something that I learn from? How can it be something that sets me free and helps me to get better results and if we can change our mentality in that way, and start to transform then we’re going to walk that path in the right ways.
If you are worried about what other people think of you or if you’re worried about what other people will say the biggest shame in that for me is that usually it is the most talented, nicest, and biggest potential people that never achieve the success that they want or never achieve the success that they deserve because they’re so afraid of what somebody else has to say. So when they’re afraid of what somebody else has to say. They decide is easier for me to stay quiet and risk being criticized.
That is a decision that they make in their mind like it’s going to be easy for me just not to say anything, because if I say anything I might look stupid or if I say anything so much so saying bad to me. These people usually are only thinking like that because they’re nice considerate people and they’re people places that they want to please people around them. And that’s why they’re actually considering other people, but then guess what you’re putting other people in front of you. You know you’re putting other people’s opinion in front of your potential.
So, only when you embrace your potential, and you don’t worry about other people’s opinions that you can actually empower yourself. And once you start to empower yourself and you start to go out there and make things happen, and not worry about what other people think of you and not worry about other things, that’s when you start to move forward, that’s when you start to, you know, really starts to develop some amazing results in your life. And loss absolutely yes, you know, understand that once you step forward once you get outside of those comfort zones, once you say no to fear. I want you understand every time you give into fear.
Every time you’re given to the fear maybe is fear of what somebody else says about you. Maybe is the fear of what’s going to change you become more successful? Maybe it’s the fear of oh my god what if this doesn’t work, you know you’ve got those different fears. Every time you get into that, you lose your power; you lose your ability to control your outcomes. And this is a thing a lot of people sometimes in business feel out of control. But you shouldn’t feel out of control. Because you are the person that controls your success with those small decisions and those small things that you’re making every day.
So you towards your success, and it’s only when you made the wrong decisions every day that you got away from your success, and where experience comes into this is the more experience you get in business, the more isn’t always just good experiences, you know, a big believer and actually you learn more from your losses than you do from your wins and actual losses that actually carve you out stone and make you strong, but this is the problem, you know, because for different people some people will be like, Ah, my losses are what define me. It means I can’t succeed.
The reality is you need to look at that differently, you need to say my losses are what has made me so strong, my losses are what has made me so knowledgeable, my losses or what have made me so able to create an impact or to get more and more products out there to get more my services out there, and dive, and drive forward and create better results and that’s really important. And of course, as Laura just said a moment ago. So, she said I’ve stepped forward and started my website really good well done there is good stuff.
Okay, is you’ve got to ignore those naysayers and just remember they slide, anybody you know trying to try and pull you down, he’s actually below you you’re up here, and they’re trying to bring you down from where you are to their level, that means they’re below you so it might be bad to say, I’ve said this before I’ll say again, I’ve never in my career and you can see all around the walls around me is interviewing, very successful people, and lots of different and there’s tons more and you can see about 50 different interviews I’ve done on YouTube and stuff with some of the world’s most successful people. I’ve never met a successful person that wants to pull other people down.
I’ve only met successful people are wanting encouraged that want to help other people. In fact, is completely opposite the people don’t want to pull you down or the people that are gonna pull you down because they’re below you they haven’t created the results they’re afraid that you can do what they can’t and that’s why they’re trying to pull you down. So if you get into understanding that, then surely you should embrace it, you know if you’re taking opinions and you’re taking somebody’s information or somebody’s culture or somebody’s knowledge, and you will swap places from them with them. Why are you doing that? That’s the reality, you know you want to be coached by somebody that’s walked the path you want to walk you want to be taking advice from people that walk the path you want to walk the train the results you want to create the results you want to create. Then fantastic there’s something there that you can learn if they haven’t, you need to be thinking right okay you know if this will place if you want to do this right. And I think that’s really important.
So make sure that okay I want to summarize this and say, you know, when it comes to your advisors, when it comes to mentors, when it comes to the people you listen so you’re taking advice from, you’ve got to be looking at not looking down. If you’re looking up, guess what, you’re not going to trip over, if you’re looking down, you’re looking down, you’re gonna trip over enormously we’re trying to make sure we’re looking at a motion we’ll move forward in the right way. And let’s create a really powerful impact for you. Okay, so a couple more bits on dealing with failure.
All right, which is really important so I have a guy that was a big mentor to me in a previous business somebody that worked very closely? Had a good sign. And this sign was no matter what happens, he always used to say past costs are that. And what this means is you can’t change the past you can’t impact the past you can’t. There’s really very little that you can do to change what has happened. All you can do is learn from those experiences and move forward in a productive way. You can’t dive back into the past and re change what you did and take different actions and do different things. So stop being so baffled by because those costs are that, you know, and hopefully those costs paid off paid you in a different way they bought your lesson. That lesson was worth from learning. And from that failure whether you want to look at it so you’ve got to start understanding that the past costs dead, and make sure you learn from experience, if you learn from experience, and you took a lesson.
That’s going to change your behavior that’s going to change your decision making, that’s going to change some of the things that you do in the future, if you made mistakes in the past. As long as you’re gonna repeat those mistakes, and as long as you make sure that you take that lesson and you learn from it and you deal with things different in the future, then it wasn’t a mistake at all it was actually just a learning experience. I think that’s really important and something that we should all embrace because that can make you a more positive person, a person that attracts more wins your life, whether it be wealth success financial wherever it is you want.
Once you start to learn from your lessons of the past that is going to be what shapes you for the future and get you great results, you know, another thing that you can do is just make notes and come from when what went wrong because of a lot of don’t do this. I think that if there is something that didn’t go the way you wanted to go there is something that you’ve not succeeded or hasn’t given you the result that you wanted to get from there.
Don’t 13:44 and takes notes and actually ask yourself like what went wrong; I’ll show you how to do that in a minute. You know what can I do differently in the future because that’s gonna help on how you to get better results. And if we start to look at any type of failure is simply just an experience. And that’s going to help you, and you will have heard this as well never fail, unless you stop trying the only time you truly fail is when you give in and as long as you don’t give in as long as you keep moving forward. You can never fail. So make sure that if you fall seven times you get and stand up eight, and that is going to help you in the future. Of course, I say really is as simple as making good decisions on top of each other, or making bad decisions on top of each other.
That’s going to take you one or two directions; it’s going to take you one or two paths. If you want to limit that and this is where coaching comes in and people walk that path. And that’s important. Another thing that’s really important is to make decisions based on the numbers, and a lot of business owners I don’t know my numbers and terrible my numbers, and I get terrible your numbers. This is a weakness that we got alarm because a big part of business and understand that grit, determination, hard work and making sure you don’t accept failure actually fundamental to your future success. And we can create much better results because of it.
When we’ve been taught we’ve been talking about the wealth system that this is actually I think day nine of my wealth system which is 30 business lessons a lot more on this in the role system. I haven’t got the link to hand but you could go over to the bigbusinessevents.co.uk online programs on there and you’re gonna find a selection of different online programs that might suit you.
So the challenge is this, we live a past failure, look at something that hasn’t that you perceive right now so a bit of failure in your past, and ask yourself these questions. What did you learn, number one, what is he learned about himself? What is it you learned about business, or is it going to allow you to do things differently? What’s good about that situation, the fact that it didn’t work for you? What is good about that look at the positives? What is that allowed you to do what the doors are open for you? How’s it allowed you to progress in a different way? Why you are pleased about it now so you know you’re might be something you beat yourself up about yours? But the reality is, what are you actually pleased about it. What is it about that 15:53 failure that actually is a really good thing, because it’s allowed us to do other things actually go and do things.
And why is it good thing that it turned out that way. And what lessons will you take forward into the future with you; because this is reality past costs are dead. It’s what we do today is which is going to create the tomorrow we want, we can control what happens in the present, and we can have an influence on what happens in the future but we can’t change the past and if we accept that, then that’s going to help us to move forward and create much better results. So if you do that exercise let me know how you get on with it. I think it’s been coming up for 40 minutes tonight. So when 16:29 once a day, hope it’s been of great value to it. So lots of good things coming in from us.
We’ve got some amazing stuff happening, we’ve got our three day events and this is for any of our existing clients. We’ve got a three day event coming up very soon. Just straight after this three day training, we’ll be working on business mindset, which is going to be awesome, and how to succeed in business and grow your business, it’s a three day training offices coming up. I believe that’s the second to the fifth hour we’ve got another one from the 10th to the 12th. And that’s only one of those suddenly pops a message and we’ll tell you all about how you can get involved and if you’re not existing client. It’s been awesome to see you all tonight I’m glad you’ve enjoyed really enjoy being here this evening, make sure you catch up 17:08 go on to a business events members network, join the network, there’s 17:14 business items in there. Okay so big thank you for me this evening and I say see you all very soon.