Episode 376: Sales: Secrets Of Closing Deals
Selling yourself effectively, whether in the realm of business or dating, can be a daunting task. Many individuals excel at selling products or services but hit a stumbling block when the focus shifts to them as individuals.
In this episode, Adam Stott is joined by Ksenia Droben for the third time to delve into the nuanced art of “selling yourself”—a crucial skill for both business owners and singles in the dating world. Ksenia brings a wealth of experience, explaining how the principles of sales can be applied to dating, and shares insights from her recent trip to China, a country known for its unique matchmaking traditions.
Adam and Ksenia emphasize the importance of understanding human behavior, asking situational questions, and maintaining confidence to effectively sell oneself in various contexts.
Show Highlights:
- Approaching dating with the same strategic mindset used in business sales can improve outcomes in romantic pursuits.
- Treating rejection as a step closer to success and seeking feedback can turn a no into a valuable learning experience.
- Asking situational questions rather than yes/no ones can provide deeper insights and control over the conversation.
- Just like in business, how you present yourself in dating scenarios significantly influences others’ perceptions.
- Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and focus on self-improvement to become a more attractive prospect in both professional and personal contexts.
Links Mentioned:
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Adam’s website: https://adamstott.com/?el=Pod
Watch the Episode on Adam’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/adamstottcoach?el=Pod
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Coaches, consultants, and business owners – lower your marketing costs, increase ticket prices, and get more high-ticket clients: https://3daybrandbuilderworkshop.com/start-here?el=Pod
Transcript:
Please note this is a verbatim transcription from the original audio and therefore may include some minor grammatical errors.
[00:00:00] Adam Stott: How do you sell yourself?
[00:00:02] Ksenia Droben: if men understand how to use sales conversation in the dating class with pre framing that women can be offended
[00:00:10] Adam Stott: if you don’t understand human behavior it can be very very difficult is don’t ask questions that are even open questions or yes or no questions ask situational questions you have to be in the mindset that Every single no I get is one closer to the yes.
[00:00:32] How do you sell yourself? This is something that’s plagued business owners for, for so long now. They’re okay selling products, they’re okay selling their services, but often they really struggle when they’ve got to sell themselves and they find it really, really difficult. So what we’re going to talk about today is how do you do exactly that?
[00:00:48] How do you go and sell yourself in an effective way? Will you get people’s attention and get them saying yes to you more often? And I’ve got the wonderful Ksenia Drobin on with me today, who is a relationship expert, and we’re going to be talking all about this topic. Welcome Ksenia, who’s just come all the way from China.
[00:01:06] You’ve just been out in China. How was that?
[00:01:08] Ksenia Droben: China was amazing. It’s really two weeks in different parts of China. And, uh, of course, uh, all the time I search something about dating and China is, is country of matchmaking. So it’s my country. Absolutely. So
[00:01:21] Adam Stott: you really enjoyed it there. What’s it like? I’ve not been to actually one of the places.
[00:01:24] I’ve not been China. You know,
[00:01:26] Ksenia Droben: China is great because, uh, uh, in, in the old China, now it’s changed a little bit. In the old China, when the, uh, the, uh, girl was born, it wasn’t, she wasn’t allowed to get, to get out. She should stay at home all the time. So how to find the right match for her if girls are staying at home?
[00:01:44] And the time she was born, the father planted the tree, special tree. So the Chinese matchmakers could see how big is the tree. And at the same time, on the door, There are special like walls, like signs and how many, it depends on what is your status.
[00:02:03] Adam Stott: So if you’ve got a daughter in the household, they’ve got a tree there.
[00:02:06] Tree
[00:02:07] Ksenia Droben: and on the door, on the gate, on the gate, you can see, it depends on how rich is the family. You can see the status of the family. So for this, I don’t know, this science or something like science, uh, above the door. It means the family is with money, rich family. So if you see the tree, if you see this four signs on the gate, you know, it’s rich family.
[00:02:27] And as soon as she married, they cut the tree. Do they? Yes. So they build some furniture from this tree and the furniture is for, for her belongings. Isn’t that
[00:02:38] Adam Stott: fascinating? Uh, just a completely d different culture, different way of looking at ab. Absolutely. So
[00:02:45] Ksenia Droben: it’s Tinder in, in all China it was Tinder because you see the money of the family and you see how old is the daughter?
[00:02:52] Adam Stott: Ah, and is that where the name Tinder comes from?
[00:02:54] Ksenia Droben: Prob, I dunno. They dunno. Tinder. They dunno Tinder because everything is banned in China. They, they don’t use any of our apps.
[00:03:01] Adam Stott: Ah, they’re not allowed. Wow.
[00:03:01] Ksenia Droben: Good
[00:03:03] Adam Stott: stuff. Well, welcome back. I know you’ve had a long journey. This is a really looking forward to what we’re talking about today.
[00:03:09] You’ve got some questions. What we’re really going to look at is how do we sell ourselves? And this is something that business owners are going to have to do again and again and again. They’ve got to sell themselves to their staff. They’ve got to sell themselves to our finances. They’ve got to sell themselves to their clients, to suppliers.
[00:03:26] It’s something that just comes up again and again and again. And also when it comes to relationships and dating. This is something that people struggle with. So we’re really looking forward to having a good chat today about selling yourself. And I know you’ve got some questions to make sure. Yeah. Let’s jump in.
[00:03:39] Ksenia Droben: Yeah. Uh, for me, dating, uh, dating and sales, it absolutely makes sense because it’s the same, you buy some product, you buy the partner and you sell yourself at the same time. So you have double, uh, double problem, how to buy right and how to sell right. And to buy
[00:03:56] Adam Stott: right and how to sell right, right? Yeah, how to
[00:03:58] Ksenia Droben: buy, what, what to buy?
[00:04:00] What is the right product for me to buy? Do I really need this product? You know, this absolutely makes sense. But in terms of dating, like, like you said, like in business, many people feel uncomfortable selling themselves because they think if they get no, it’s personal. So if somebody doesn’t want to buy my product or service, it means I am bad.
[00:04:19] I’m not, maybe this person doesn’t need my product at the same time. And if, even if I’m beautiful woman and he said, no, maybe he doesn’t like black hair woman and he likes Chinese women. I don’t know. It’s, it’s his personal choice. It’s his right to say, no, maybe it was not the right time for this conversation.
[00:04:37] And what do you usually recommend to your students? To your business owners, when you see they really struggle with selling themselves. First of all.
[00:04:49] Adam Stott: Yeah. Brilliant. Brilliant question. A lot of people do struggle with it. They can sell products, they can sell services. They go to pieces when they’re selling themselves.
[00:04:56] And it’s just like you said, exactly what you said is they feel like it’s a personal rejection. And if. Somebody gets personally rejected for whatever reason that can hit them in a very different place than if they were to get rejected on their product or their service. It can take them to a different place and the problem is it can feel painful.
[00:05:18] They can start saying the wrong things to themselves and, and all of a sudden they can start doubting themselves and those doubts creep in and that’s where it can become very, very difficult because all they can see is the rejection. They keep replaying that in their minds again and again and again, so it could be very, very, very difficult.
[00:05:34] But the thing to understand. Even if you were to be personally rejected, the person that is rejecting you or the person that’s saying no, or the person that doesn’t want the product service, you don’t know what’s going on in their life. You don’t know where they’re at in terms of their life. You don’t know what’s going on in their life.
[00:05:53] You don’t know where they are right now. They could be, I mean, from the relationship part, they could be in a breakup. From the business, you know, it could be a case of they’re still working with somebody else and, and at the moment they’re, they’re coming out of that contract, but they’re not ready to yet.
[00:06:07] It’s exactly the same reasons. So the thing that you got to do is not take your personal pride into any situation. Instead, you’ve got to have a different mindset. So there’s a couple of mindsets here that we can adopt that can be very, very empowering. The first one when I was when I was a young man, I’m still fairly young, but getting older.
[00:06:30] Right. Um, but when I was young and I first got into sales, the very first book I’ve spoke about this before, but I speak about it quite a lot, actually, because it is actually really helpful for a lot of people. The first sales book I ever read was a book called selling to win by Richard Denny. And it was very, very simple, Simple, easy strategies.
[00:06:50] And one of the strategies was if you ask a hundred people for the business, if 99 say, no, you’re definitely going to get one that says yes. So you have to be in the mindset that every single no, I get is one closer to the yes. Right? So if you have that mindset, you can just keep going. You can keep pushing forward, keep asking the question.
[00:07:12] Eventually you’re going to get the yeses that you want to get. But it’s also important that even though every no you get, you’re one closer to the yes, it’s also important to find out why you’re getting the nose and actually asking for the feedback and say, Hey, you know, uh, I understand that I, you know, from a relationship, especially, are you in a relationship already?
[00:07:32] No, I’m just not in the date in place at the moment. Fine, whatever, you know, um, if it’s a business thing, you’ve got to ask those questions. If somebody says, no, I don’t want your products or service. Okay, no problem. You know, it really helps us to understand why that is
[00:07:48] Ksenia Droben: because
[00:07:48] Adam Stott: you use it as feedback, right?
[00:07:49] That’s what I’m saying is every single person says no to you. You’ve got an opportunity to get feedback. And if the feedback was. Listen, you know, people are going to be a lot more honest with you from a dating perspective. You know, it might be the way you dress. It might be the people they’re into. Like you said, different people, different strokes to different folks, et cetera.
[00:08:06] Last,
[00:08:06] Ksenia Droben: last week we had one video date and the man said, you know what? I like you very much, but I cannot date her because she is a copy of my ex ex wife. You know, this is the no, not because, not because she is. She is bad, but it’s just no, because there’s
[00:08:23] Adam Stott: this feedback and there’s different reasons. And the truth is that girl probably had a lucky escape because otherwise say they went forward.
[00:08:33] He’s always going to be thinking it’s like his ex wife and they’re gonna end up having a problem down the line. So he’s probably better off getting out of that one, right? You know, it’s
[00:08:39] Ksenia Droben: really interesting because this knows on a negative, uh, response after data video date, it cannot, it’s sometimes it’s not personal at all.
[00:08:48] It’s, it’s just because he or she has some, some personal things and, uh, don’t, don’t, not, not in the situation.
[00:08:55] Adam Stott: Exactly. The message I’m trying to get across is that a no is not a personal attack on you.
[00:09:01] Ksenia Droben: Uh, what do you think about, uh, one advice I give to my clients? Because I understood, uh, because I, I’m doing it for 26 years.
[00:09:09] The most of the time they go for the dates, they go for the video dates without any understanding that date is sales conversation. You buy and you sell at the same time. And they start talking about what is the weather, where are you from, what do I eat for breakfast. It’s not, not relevant at all. If you want to sell something, you know, product, inform yourself.
[00:09:35] So I started giving to some of my clients like sales script or they do a sales script for themselves from your advice because I used your. Your advice for each something like, why did you decide, uh, to meet me today? What is, what was your struggle? And something like emotions, up and downs and really interesting thing.
[00:09:57] The first woman who used this script, she’s married
[00:10:01] Adam Stott: Nice.
[00:10:01] Ksenia Droben: Immediately she was searching for success
[00:10:03] Adam Stott: story. Yeah.
[00:10:04] Ksenia Droben: Yeah. She was searching for a long time, but since she used this script and many other women used this script, it started working. I don’t tell it, I don’t, uh, give this advice to men. Yeah. Because they will understand it very.
[00:10:17] Quick and we’ll use it very successful. I give it to four women only.
[00:10:20] Adam Stott: Yeah. Okay. Well, I think, I think it’s a great idea. I think any tool like that, that is going to create success for people is, is really important. And when it comes to sales, sales is. The person in control is the person that’s asking the questions.
[00:10:36] Alright? So if you’ve got really good, powerful questions, you will retain the control. So that’s very important to understand. So if somebody goes in and starts rambling, and they’re rambling about, like you said, what they had for breakfast, what they’re having for dinner, You know, different things and they’re just rambling on, they, yeah, they’re, they’re going to actually start to feel the chemicals of nervousness and cortisol come up in their body and they’re going to get nervous and, and they’re not going to show the best version themselves.
[00:11:05] So I think that anybody being prepared, um, having some good questions to ask and then, you know, really good sales is good questions. Active listening, really listening to what that person has to say. So if I really wanted to ascertain whether somebody was kind and generous, the type of questions that I’m going to ask, I’m not going to say, are you kind and generous?
[00:11:28] Because the answer to that is going to be, yes, of course I am. I’m probably going to ask what’s called a situational question, a situation. So it’s situational question. This is something Interview techniques, by the way, if you want to interview people, this is a really good way to interview people is don’t ask questions that are even open questions or yes or no questions are situational questions.
[00:11:47] So hey, when was the last time that you could, you know, that you felt like you were really kind and generous. Tell me some of the things that you did and I go, ah, now they’ve really got a search for a moment in there. In their past, they’ve got to create a situation and their version of kind and generous might not be your version of kind and generous.
[00:12:06] So their version of kind and generous was, well, I lent my neighbor my lawnmower and you’re thinking, well, that’s not the sort of person I was like, they think that that’s kind and generous is really like, actually, you know what? Um, Very recently, last year, I took a week off work and I flew out to Romania and I worked with a charity, a friend of mine has just done this, good shout out to Scott, and I was cutting all their hair for free to give back, is that person probably going to be kind and generous?
[00:12:32] Absolutely, absolutely. So, so you want to be asking questions that are situational, um, situational questions, which are really, really important in that type of interview format.
[00:12:43] Ksenia Droben: I give a similar advice. I say, my friend experienced the situation. I don’t know how to react. What is your opinion about it?
[00:12:52] Adam Stott: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:12:53] Yeah. And then bringing out their opinions would be really good. Some
[00:12:56] Ksenia Droben: situation and, and see how this person, how the date partner will react and what will be response.
[00:13:02] Adam Stott: Absolutely. And I think the important thing when you, cause really the first question is about selling yourself. If you are showing confidence, whether you are male or female and you are prepared, so being prepared, being confident, if you came to a situation like that with really great questions and you really listened and you asked really great follow up questions from that, remember that the person is always going to feel that The most interesting conversations they ever have are going to be when they spoke more.
[00:13:33] So I’ll give you a good example. I think it was Jim Rohn that talked about, uh, it was Zig Ziglar, old time sort of personal development person said that whenever they would go on a plane journey and they would sit next to somebody and they used to travel a lot, eight, 10 hours, and they’re flying over the plane for eight to 10 hours, they would sit there and they would talk to the person on the plane and they would just ask them questions about themselves.
[00:13:53] At the end of the plane journey, the person would go. No, absolutely nothing about them and would say, Oh my God, you were so interesting. What was your name? And the reason I think that the person was so interesting is because they sat there talking about them for hours and hours and hours. So people like to talk about themselves.
[00:14:10] Ksenia Droben: Yeah. He was
[00:14:13] Adam Stott: from how to win friends and influence people. Actually. Great book, by the way. Yeah.
[00:14:17] Ksenia Droben: Dale Dale Carnegie has said most of all, people like to talk about themselves.
[00:14:20] Adam Stott: Absolutely. Yeah.
[00:14:22] Ksenia Droben: And here they are the own name.
[00:14:24] Adam Stott: Yeah. So get that out and really start that conversation and allow them to, uh, to talk about themselves.
[00:14:29] And that is going to be a really great way. That you’re actually selling yourself because you’re showing that you’re a great listener. You’re showing that you ask great questions. You show that you’re interesting. All right. And interested, which are very, very important, important traits.
[00:14:42] Ksenia Droben: I think very important in terms of dating.
[00:14:44] So I got this advice from you. Sorry, I’m stealing. I’m stealing. Pre framing. Because most of all, people start phone conversation or video date or just normal date. Oh, let’s meet, let’s talk. We’ll see how, how, how it’s going on. Now we have our video call. I have 30 minutes. We will discuss important question.
[00:15:06] I have some questions for you. I hope you don’t mind if I will ask this question. And. Especially men, they really first time in their life in the situation where a woman is not just sitting and waiting for the question, but she is asking.
[00:15:20] Adam Stott: Yeah.
[00:15:21] Ksenia Droben: She’s asking, she’s in charge, she’s, she’s in control. It’s really a very powerful instrument.
[00:15:25] So that’s why I don’t give it to men. You don’t give
[00:15:27] Adam Stott: it to men. Yeah. Pre Pre preframing, I mean pre framing is just setting out the expectations of the conversation and how it’s going to flow, which is really important, a really good way to control conversations. Um, for, for sure. Yeah, super important.
[00:15:42] Ksenia Droben: But I think I just, I’m just thinking that if man got this instrument or then or if men understood how to use sales conversation in the dating class with pre framing, that women can be offended.
[00:15:55] Because if she goes for the day, beautiful makeup and heels, and he says, you know what, I have her now, I will ask you a question, if you fail, you fail.
[00:16:04] Adam Stott: Yeah, I, I think that absolutely, uh. Men, men are
[00:16:09] Ksenia Droben: not allowed to, to get, uh, this pre framing, not at all.
[00:16:12] Adam Stott: Nah, they’re not allowed to get, well, you know, whether it would, whether it would absolutely help them in every situation or not is, is, is different as well.
[00:16:20] I think that it depends. And this is what comes down to is, is personalities and everybody has different personality styles and, and we have different types of people, you know, some people are going to appreciate you taking control and this is, I think this is where people get confused, right? If you don’t understand human behavior, it can be very, very difficult.
[00:16:40] To be able to influence people. So one of the ways that you can influence people is by understanding human behavior and understanding how people act. Uh, you, you know, Jim very well, Jim Francis, who teaches the, uh, personality styles, and that’s something that we’ve done. For many, many, many years with our clients.
[00:16:58] And we talk about how you’ve got different personalities, how you can address those people in a different way to create different levels of influence. But there are many different resources out there, um, where you can like this profiling, you know, actually on the podcast and you can circle back to a previous episode, I interviewed Thomas Erickson, uh, who wrote the book surrounded by idiots.
[00:17:17] And what that does is he talks about. All of the different personality, um, types of people. Now, somebody that’s very dominant, if you are a very dominant person, uh, very assertive, very, very confident, and you’re that type of person and somebody came in and tried to control you, you are going to be quite resentful of that control where somebody that actually was much, uh, Less dominant, um, was much, uh, uh, really doesn’t want to make the decisions and doesn’t want to be in control.
[00:17:48] And if you came in and you pre framed that person, they would appreciate it because they would feel more ease. So one of the things that’s really important to do when selling yourself is know who you’re selling to and understand human dynamics and human behavior. In order to be able to influence people in a more positive way.
[00:18:04] Ksenia Droben: And I think, uh, it’s, uh, this, uh, even this, uh, self confidence, because if, if you don’t understand that your product, uh, every day, every time when you go out to buy bread, you, you, you, you will be. Uh, pre adjusted by, by the, uh, people in the, uh, in the bakery. So all the time, all of our, uh, all our life, somebody is looking at us and make opinion about us all the time.
[00:18:32] So it’s absolutely fine, I think, you know, and I try to convince my, my audience that absolutely fine to understand, okay, I’m product, I can make it better. I can wrap it better, maybe put some, something on the top to, uh, to, to make it more attractive for. other singles, it’s absolutely fine. It’s never over the top.
[00:18:52] Adam Stott: Yeah. I think selling yourself is, is again, the way that you present yourself is critical, um, to the results that you’re going to get back, uh, from a business perspective, uh, presenting yourself professionally, uh, presenting your products or services professionally, uh, presenting them with brand. POS point of sale and really showing that you have that professionalism and you have the product and the product looks attractive is extremely important and the same goes for, you know, your relationships and your dating, just simple stuff, right?
[00:19:28] You, you wouldn’t go and go to a meeting without combing your hair and making sure you’re, you feel good and you’re showered and you’re, even if you’re on zoom, say you were doing a zoom meeting, you know, and you were going to meet someone for a first date on zoom, even then, You should go and shower and brush your teeth and comb your hair and dress the very best because you want to present yourself feeling great.
[00:19:50] Ksenia Droben: But you know, this is really interesting thing. This is probably the difference between a business owners and singles because many singles think, okay, so if I will go to the date as the best version of myself, it’s not true because in my normal life, When I go home, I wear trainers. I don’t wear shorts. I wear only t shirts.
[00:20:10] I’m not going to do what I’m not doing in my normal life just to impress the woman. I, I get, I get this. Well, this
[00:20:21] Adam Stott: is the whole topic of what we’re talking about. Selling yourself. Yeah. Start selling yourself. The bottom line, if no one’s buying, it’s because you ain’t putting a good product out there, right?
[00:20:30] And you’re not selling yourself in the right way. So you, you’ve got to drop your limiting beliefs and start presenting the very best version of you. If you want to get more people saying yes. And if you want to keep getting the nose and keep feeling that deep. Pain of everyone rejecting you keep presenting yourself in a crap way, but if you want a different result, you’ve got to try saying different,
[00:20:51] Ksenia Droben: but most singles, they believe that if they get their nose, it’s not their fault.
[00:20:56] It’s fault of other people who are not good enough and not see their advantage of this amazing person. Well,
[00:21:03] Adam Stott: do you want to go on this journey and succeed or do you not want to go on this journey? It’s like saying a salesman that’s going to sell a product. You know, service to someone and they go into a business and they turn up and they turn up rather than being smart.
[00:21:16] They turn up with their briefcase has got dirt and mud all over it. Their shoes are covered in crap and they’re going there. And yeah, and they haven’t combed their hair and they look an absolute state. Are they going to get a business? Don’t they’re not going to get a business. So it’s the same in a dating scenario.
[00:21:33] Go. Go make a great. You only get one chance to make a great first impression. So make that first impression and really go out there and give the best version of you. And the other thing is stop faking it till you make it. Why don’t you just change yourself and try to try to be that new person rather than sitting at home in your trainers or whatever it is or not wearing your makeup all the time.
[00:21:57] Why don’t you start making more of an effort? Why don’t you start actually living in a way where you make more of an effort all the time? Because then you’re not faking it, you’re actually just being who you are. There’s nothing wrong with making an effort and being proud of yourself, I think it’s a good thing.
[00:22:11] Ksenia Droben: Yeah, I always use example with heels and dresses, you know, these evening dresses, evening gowns, because you always see when you go to some events, who does it quite often and who wears it once a year. You see it, you know, how people wear their dresses, girls wear the dresses, and how they wear the heels, if they can run in it, or if it’s something absolutely new.
[00:22:37] So it’s like, yeah, make it We
[00:22:39] Adam Stott: are a product of our environments, and I think the important thing to say here is, you know, somebody Might not be used to presenting themselves in that way. They may never have had to present themselves in that way where, you know, if their mom or their dad, their brother, their sister, their auntie, they never got dressed up and, and they, and it’s not in their culture or their family’s culture, the way that they’ve lived to go and present themselves in that way, they might not be used to doing that, but if they aspire.
[00:23:07] To a better quality partner or they aspire to have somebody really attractive then they have to meet the criteria themselves and they have to make themselves really attractive so just because your family didn’t do it that way your friends or your you know people around you didn’t do that way doesn’t mean you can’t and I think the actually the big thing here.
[00:23:28] Is to be a student and, and be a learner and to be open minded and say, actually, how can I make myself more attractive? How can I present myself better? How can I show a better version of myself? What are the things I can do to sell myself in a better way? And then go and do it because you end up with a better result.
[00:23:45] Ksenia Droben: Absolutely. Absolutely. It’s, it’s the same in the business. So you’re, if you see where you struggle and where are your weaknesses, you, I think you said it’s, it’s, uh, uh, you, you have to find out where are your weakness, uh, weaknesses and, and, and work on strong and work on them because where you’re strong, you’re strong already.
[00:24:04] So
[00:24:04] Adam Stott: we very recently in the office, only this week did a strengths and weaknesses test on all of the team. And we looked at what are their biggest strengths? What are their biggest weaknesses? What is your, where
[00:24:14] Ksenia Droben: is your weakness?
[00:24:15] Adam Stott: Well, my witness, it was really strange because you get 34 strengths and weaknesses that come up.
[00:24:21] And what happened is they just said that all 34 of mine was strong.
[00:24:25] Ksenia Droben: I don’t believe it.
[00:24:26] Adam Stott: No, I’m only joking, right?
[00:24:31] Ksenia Droben: Oh, you’re just
[00:24:32] Adam Stott: joking, right? No, I had, I had quite a few. I’ll show you the, uh, I’ll show you the report after we finish, um, about, but like literally, and we looked at everyone’s strengths, everybody’s weaknesses, look to how they can work better together now from a, from a dating perspective, if they did a strengths and weaknesses test and internally look to themselves, they would, would actually go, you know what, this is where I’m weak, this is where I need to improve, you know, what’s so funny is one of the strengths or weaknesses is the ability to woo.
[00:25:01] W. O. O. So how do you woo? How is your influence in skills and your charm in terms of charming people and wooing people? There were certain people in the office that their woo was 34, that their weak, their weakest element, and there will be a lot of people. Was that you? Like Manny, our cameraman’s putting his hand up now going, Oh, my, my wooing ability was 34, right out of it was the weakest thing from his personality was his ability to woo.
[00:25:28] But there were other people. It weren’t just Manny. There were other people at that as well. Yeah. And that means if that come up, and I know Manny’s just had a baby, he’s a lovely guy and he’s got a missus, so he’s not going on the dating scene. But if he was going on the dating scene, it would be a real challenge.
[00:25:43] And he would have to go work on himself, um, in the way he communicated and the way he went out there. So understanding your weaknesses, understanding your strengths, um, is, is incredibly important
[00:25:55] Ksenia Droben: in order
[00:25:55] Adam Stott: to be out. We’ll show you, we’ll do that. Do that in fact, I’ll, you know, I’ll shout it out because it’s a, I was reading a book whilst I was on holiday.
[00:26:04] I was away for two weeks and, and the book I was reading about was about strengths and weaknesses. And this particular test is called a Clifton strengths test, and it does 34 different elements where it went in no way affiliated with this particular test. Just so you’re aware, it’s just something you can go and check out.
[00:26:22] Um, and, and literally it costs about 60 quid and you can do a full test on yourself and it will tell you where you are strong on it will tell you where you’re weak. And I think actually, whether you’re a business owner or whether you’re in the dating world, this would be something very, very, very good for you to do, because you can understand where you might be quite strong, where you might not be quite so strong and you can go to work on your weaknesses.
[00:26:43] Ksenia Droben: Yeah, it’s a very good point. Very good advice. Thank you so much. so much. So, uh, last advice about people who want or who has to sell themselves in dating. Yeah. The
[00:26:56] Adam Stott: last advice will be, look, you only live once.
[00:27:01] Ksenia Droben: Yeah,
[00:27:01] Adam Stott: do you know what? I’ve got this like little anecdote that I want to tell so badly, but I can’t because a person told me it recently.
[00:27:08] But there was a scenario recently where somebody asked somebody out and the person said no to them. The person that asked to someone I admire a lot, um, who was rejected. Just laughed and said, well, you know what I’ve learned in life. If you don’t ask, you don’t get like literally. And, and I think you only live once.
[00:27:28] Um, you got to just, and you know what? A lot of people get into a place where they don’t ask and they sit and they’re thinking about it. Thinking if someone’s taking up your brain space, just get it done. Cause it’d be much better to get a quick, no, then sit on the fence for months. Right. It’s actually better to find out, no, that person’s not interested because somebody else will be interested.
[00:27:48] There’s somebody for everybody. You’re only going to find your somebody if you go out there and you make it happen.
[00:27:53] Ksenia Droben: Yeah. Thank you. In, in Russian language, we have, uh, uh, like saying, uh, every fruit finds its vegetable. Every
[00:28:03] Adam Stott: emojis here right now.
[00:28:07] Ksenia Droben: Germans say every part will find its own lead.
[00:28:12] Adam Stott: Yeah. So it’s
[00:28:12] Ksenia Droben: the same,
[00:28:13] Adam Stott: like every, every BMW will find it’s Mercedes, right?
[00:28:18] I’m only joking. But look, um, I hope you’ve enjoyed that episode of business go secrets. If you have, please tell us in the comments, you know, what did you see from this episode or here in this episode? Uh, that gave you some real food for thought. Maybe it was the emojis, maybe it was the vegetables and fruit.
[00:28:33] Have you got some sayings or some advice? That you would give to people about really encouraging them to get out there and sell themselves in a more effective way. And you have enjoyed the episode, please do go and give us a review. That is the way this podcast grows and look forward to seeing you all very soon.